What's in a Name?

It seems that Matthew and I inadvertently took an old family tradition to the next generation in naming our daughter. Oddly enough, in attempting to avoid one tradition, we perpetuated another. You see, Matthew's family has a tradition in which a new baby's name includes some derivative of a grandparent or great-grandparent's name. Our niece Charlotte gets her middle name from her Great-Grandma Rose, my sister-in-law Elizabeth gets her middle name from Grandma Lois, and so on.

Our dilemma had been: which name to choose, and how to go about picking one without hurting feelings? It got still more complicated when the actual naming candidates were considered. Matthew's family had some strong possibilities. The Schnaare family is rife with nice names like Roberta, Craig, Lois, Rose, Gene, and so on. Then you get to my family. It is no secret that the Schassbergers got the short end of the naming stick in some respects. Names like Harriet and Dexter just don't have the same ring that they did 50 years ago. Take that back another generation and you end up with candidates like Alverta and Webster. Also nice names, "back in the day," but nothing I'd like to necessarily pass on in the 21st century. And lest anyone get defensive on behalf of my parents (or their names), my sister Kate and I had always been told that our names were chosen to maximize nick-name potential, in case we disliked our names as much as our parents disliked their own growing up. Thus am I Anne Elizabeth, and my sister Katherine Suzanne. Lots of combos available there, folks!

So, in discarding the commemorative aspect of passing names on, Matthew and I decided to go biblical and leave it at that. Now, here's the rub: although nicknames remain a possibility for our dear Phoebe Rebekah, we fell into another trap: spelling. Now, I'm not talking about using the Hebrew spelling for Rebekah, of course we thought of that. As rarely as anyone ever really uses a middle name, we figured it was okay to use a different spelling. We simply forgot that Phoebe was as rare a name as it is. What with Phoebe from "Friends" and Phoebe from "Charmed," it never occurred to me that there may be alternative spellings out there. (To be fair, it's not like the name is flashed up on the screen every time the character shows up- just because you get used to hearing the name doesn't mean you know how to spell it!) And really, our friends and family have done terrifically well at getting her name right - the only misspelling so far has been a fun one: Phobe instead of Phoebe. I find it funny that the misspelling is actually a word - drop one letter and the meaning of the name changes from 'bright or shiny' to 'one who has an irrational fear.' Awesome!

So where is the tradition? It's a little thing, really, but when you're growing up and finding your own identity, it can seem like a big deal. You see, having grown up with a name like Anne (with an E), and pronouncing it with one syllable (NOT ANNIE!!!), I became somewhat of a stickler about not dropping that E. My sister is in a similar position, being Katherine with a K. Granted, Catherine with a C is pronounced the same way, but still, it's a detail that doesn't get put aside by either of us. Now add Matthew with two Ts. Statistically, Mathew with one T is a more popular name. So you see, I'm sure we've created another stickler for spelling. It probably would have happened anyway, with a name like Schnaare, but I think giving our daughter a name that has a "Ph" that sounds like an F, and an "Oe" that sounds like an E, and an E at the end of the name that ISN'T silent, well, let's just hope we never have to invest in Hooked on Phonics. Otherwise our Feebee may become a logophobe, or one who is phobic of words. I would prefer she just remain our Phoebe!